Lelitt

poutyowl:

i am perfectly fine with having other people sit on my lap but i can’t sit on other people’s laps because i’m always paranoid that i’d crush them and they’d diE

fuckyeahlaughters:

fairly-odd-girl:

*me hearing gossip about person i hate*

does anybody ever stop and think about how many people have probably talked shit about you unknowingly like when you consider how much you talk about other people with your friends do you just ever think about how many bad things other people have definitely said about you

basedgosh:

if my kids end up being better looking than me theyre grounded

laughingstation:

people that have trouble gaining weight

nikaalexandra:

do you ever hear someone’s name and just

I’m literally my own best friend like I have inside jokes with myself and sometimes I’ll think something’s funny and start laughing out loud at how funny I am

pom-bear:

Do you ever get dressed and ready and feel like you look super hot, then you go out in public and compare yourself to other people and you realize you are actually a potato 

samandriel:

If I was an author, I’d go into bookstores and find the shelf with my books, randomly sign one, and put it back on the shelf to be sold. 

foodtrucker:

i don’t have bags underneath my eyes, i have sacks full of disappointment and nearing deadlines

realitybl0ws:

heres to all the kids who have never found their name on anything in a souvenir store

shuckl:

shuckl:

shuckl:

toast annoys me so much cos like it’s bread that’s been toasted so we call it “toast” but if you fry a potato it’s not called a “fry”

fries

do you ever look back at your mistakes

fatkidinmath:

im sorry if ive ever told you the same story twice its just that i dont have an interesting life and cool things rarely happen to me

theshelbylife:

incestuous-lesbianponies:

laurarw:

I THOUGHT THIS WAS KIDDING SOGMLASG

HOLY SHIT

indoxyl:

i wanna give a high five to every parents who have a hot son good job 

snarg:

truth or dare more like preform a strange sexual act or tell me who you like

paradisaic:

my mom wouldn’t let me get a ferret when i was younger because she thought it would turn me gay

yaygocats:

discomplete:

“i want to wear shorts because it’s hot but i really hate my legs” an autobiography

“I want to wear shorts but i didnt shave” the sequel.

c00kiedough:

sleeping in an oversized hoodie seems like a good idea until its 2am and it feels like you’re taking a bath with satan